What do black gay 30-something men care about?


I didn’t expect to take that long of a blogging break. But shit happens, y’know? Business has been steady, I had some family deaths to deal with (one of which I did blog about), my mom retired, I took a couple of trips, started some new projects, dated a few boys…shit’s been busy. It’s not an excuse or an explanation — it just is what it is.

In time, I’ll write about how the last 9+ months have been. There’s no shortage of blog posts, that’s for damn sure.

And yet, when I pull up WordPress…

Fig, 1: Accurate.


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Master of the Fade Away

“And that’s how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners-in-crime you loved so much when you’re young — as the years go by, you just lose touch. You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.”
— Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother 9×21 “Gary Blauman”

The last time I talked with The Sheep, he said something near the end of our conversation that has stuck with me.

“I’m still really looking forward to talking with you and hanging out, Karsh. Just don’t fade away on me.”

“Fade away? What do you mean?”

“You know…stop calling, stop texting…you just fade away.”

“I won’t fade away if you don’t.”


I called The Sheep two more times after that, and he never returned my messages. I texted him and he never replied.

But I was the one who wasn’t supposed to fade away, right?

Whitney Houston

Fig. 1: Whitney be knowin’.

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Death and Decay

Death is a motherfucker.

It’s been about a month now since my grandfather passed away. We — the immediate family consisting of my mother, my grandmother, and yours truly — knew it was coming, but even as we saw him wither way, it was still a shock. A routine procedure followed by a month in the ICU, and now we’re planning a funeral.

Can we talk about how no one teaches you how to plan a funeral? Consulting the funeral home, buying a casket, setting up the service, coordinating the program…it’s a good thing my grandfather was the head deacon at his church, because they basically took the reins and we just wrote the check.

Fig. 1: Accurate.

Fig. 1: Accurate.

On top of this, I’ve had to deal with the rest of the family. I couldn’t have planned for their reactions, most of which ranged from sheer hysteria to shoulder-shrugging indifference. My cousins just lost a grandfather they never saw, and having them suddenly throw themselves into the pain of losing a family member felt odd. But people process grief differently, so you know…different strokes for different folks.

I tried not to judge, until… Read More

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