I always try to do these T-Minus posts ten days before my birthday. I like to think of them as my small way of getting some shit off my chest so I can rocket into my next year of existence.
But lately, I feel like I’m barely able to make it to the launchpad for lift off. Papa is tired.
2014 has been busy so far. Three site launches in January and a blur of work, dating, and bingewatching TV shows in February; I’m just now catching my breath in time to do some writing and finish my taxes. Somewhere during all of that, I found the time to be on Anthony‘s podcast “Talk About Sex” and it’s giving me those familiar writing pangs again.
Will: Somebody will create something about thirtysomething Black gay men that’s gonna change…everything.
Anthony: You should do it!
Karsh: Taylor? I can’t pronounce his last name. Taylor…S-i-l-u-w-e. Siluwé? Siluwé? Siluwé.
Will: What was he doing?
Karsh: Well he was like a thirtysomething Black gay man and he talked about, umm, his life and dating and he talked about, umm, I think, like, AIDS advocacy and a bunch of different topics. And I remember that when I was you know, like in my mid-20s and I remember looking at his blog and…God, who else? I don’t know of any other black gay men that were really writing and talking about doing stuff in their 30s which for me feels like something that I need to try to pick back up and continue doing now that I’m in my 30s. Like, I feel like I have to like keep the torch going.
Will: There’s more of us than there are of them, so to speak.
Anthony: There are!
Will: But nobody is talking…nobody is talking about what life is like on this side of 30.
We also went on to mention Bernie from Bejata and Bernard Bradshaw from Sex and the Second City. During the podcast, I forgot to mention other Black gay thirtysomething men I knew who were actively blogging back in the day, like Prime, EJ, Ronn, Michael-Christopher, Rod, Wood, Phillipe, Zun, Kevin, Malik, Christopher David, J. Brotherlove, Steven, and Donald (RIP).
Like I mentioned in the podcast, I do feel like I need to keep the writing going like I did back in my BGB days. But you know, life on this side of 30 for me ain’t half bad. Tame, really. All the things which brought me conflict and strife in my 20s have been all but eliminated in my 30s.
I traded in hostile work environments and backstabbing co-workers for self-employment and a remote team I’ve never met. I traded in self-doubt for clarity. I traded in drama with shitty kinda-sorta boyfriends for being single and loving myself. I traded in overanalyzing things I can’t control for a finely honed bullshit detector. I traded in sunshine friends and sycophants for a crew, though spread across the world, are people I hold near and dear.
What’s life like on this side of 30? It’s fine. I mean, when there’s no real pressing conflict happening, what do you write about?
Celebutant pop gossip? I’m not interested outside of a tweet here and there.
Growing old? It happens to everyone.
Being happy? Well, I guess that’s a start…
So what do you think? What stories do you want to hear about from Black gay men in their 30s? And who are some Black gay bloggers in their 30s I need to read? My blogroll is lookin’ pretty skimpy.